Here's the post that I knew I was going to have to write, and I highly recommend that you read it. It's one of the most cancerous but unspoken issues in our society today, and with the introduction of tablets and smartphones, it's only become more dangerous.
I'm talking about porn. I don't know where you stand on it, whether you think it's ok, something to be pushed under the carpet, or my position: downright evil. The point is that porn, in any sort, either hard, soft, violent, or child-associated is a thousand times more accessible than ever. Fifty years ago, you had to go to the nearest drugstore and buy it under the counter and drive home in shame with it. Today, all you need is a 4G connection and you can view adult content 24 hours a day, almost anywhere in the civilized world, from the palm of your hand. Jason Byassee says it better than I could. I recommend reading his opinion on how it's changed.
For me as a soon to be married man, this is beyond concerning for my future. I don't want my wife to have to live in fear of me comparing her to a woman on a two dimensional screen. I don't want my sons to be cycling images of naked women and sexual violence in their minds when they start junior high. And I sure as hell don't want my little girls to eventually marry a man who doesn't cherish her or think she's good enough compared to what he's seen.
Don't believe me? Looks at the stats.
And now, with kids getting phones younger and younger, and internet access and anonymity becoming increasingly easy, it's only going to get worse. Think about it. The average age to get a phone is eleven. That's about the same age that kids start viewing porn. The average age to get married these days is around 27-28. That's sixteen years of pornography from your hand before you get married. And with the market competition for porn, the stuff they see will become more and more disgusting.
I have a lot more to say about this topic, so comment and if you would like me to talk about this more next week, I'd really love to. This is pretty huge to me. Please check out the resources below. I'm urging you.
I'm talking about porn. I don't know where you stand on it, whether you think it's ok, something to be pushed under the carpet, or my position: downright evil. The point is that porn, in any sort, either hard, soft, violent, or child-associated is a thousand times more accessible than ever. Fifty years ago, you had to go to the nearest drugstore and buy it under the counter and drive home in shame with it. Today, all you need is a 4G connection and you can view adult content 24 hours a day, almost anywhere in the civilized world, from the palm of your hand. Jason Byassee says it better than I could. I recommend reading his opinion on how it's changed.
For me as a soon to be married man, this is beyond concerning for my future. I don't want my wife to have to live in fear of me comparing her to a woman on a two dimensional screen. I don't want my sons to be cycling images of naked women and sexual violence in their minds when they start junior high. And I sure as hell don't want my little girls to eventually marry a man who doesn't cherish her or think she's good enough compared to what he's seen.
Don't believe me? Looks at the stats.
- 90% of children ages 8-16 have viewed pornography.
- The average earliest age that children are exposed to porn is eleven.
- 70% of men ages 18-34 visit a porn site in a typical month.
- Every second, 28,258 people view pornography.
- Every minute, $184,500 is spent on porn.
- Every year, $10-$14 billion is spent on porn, which is more than the combined revenues of pro baseball, pro football, and basketball combined.
And according to a video I just watched, a man was publicly watching child pornography on his iPad on an airplane, and when questioned about it, blew the woman off and another woman defended him and told him it was none of her business. Another man was caught and arrested last year for doing the same thing on his laptop.
And now, with kids getting phones younger and younger, and internet access and anonymity becoming increasingly easy, it's only going to get worse. Think about it. The average age to get a phone is eleven. That's about the same age that kids start viewing porn. The average age to get married these days is around 27-28. That's sixteen years of pornography from your hand before you get married. And with the market competition for porn, the stuff they see will become more and more disgusting.
So what are the options for you and your kids? More importantly, do you want them to not see it, as in hiding it, or do you want them to voluntarily not view it? Do you want to stop viewing it?
Filter
The filter option is always tossed out as go-to solution. And in part, it does work and it is helpful. Most will deny access to sites, and some will crop out or mask images that are deemed inappropriate. Verizon, T-Mobile, Sprint, and AT&T all have family filters of sorts on them that'll help out. For me, I've always appreciated not having the crap show up in the first place. But it's a tool that's helped some people, but it doesn't curb the demand. Products like AntiPorn, K9 Web Protection, and Junior Watch are all available for downloads online for the PC. But for android, iPad, and the like, it's really hard to get a solid filter for my iPad. And a lot of it is expensive and easy to get around also, so it's a temporary fix to a bigger problem.
Relationship
The second, and really more potent option, is to have a relationship. To the parents, do you know what your kids are exposed to? Have you even talked about it? Because I assure you, if you turn a blind eye, it's gonna happen. NOW is the best time to talk to them about it. Who knows? Maybe it'll bring you closer? I know that for me, telling my folks what I had been through actually resulted in forgiveness and my dad is my best friend because of it. Get to know them. Be an actual family.
Two things: if your child doesn't think it's wrong, let them know that they're fueling a demand for human trafficking and educate them and teach them why it's horrible. If they do know it's wrong, are addicted, and want to get out; don't shame them. Forgive them, and try to help them out. That's what you're there for.
Learn and Kill
I urge you, don't be passive. This is not another thing to be taken lightly. If you're into porn, or think it's morally acceptable, I ask you to take a look at the resources below and learn what porn really is. It's the dehumanization of women, the stimulant of rape culture, and just as addictive and gives just as good a neurostimulant as cocaine. If you're addicted, get help! I can't stress the importance of this. For me, putting this crap in the open was the only way to get it done. If you live in the Puget Sound area, join a redemption group. You can't kill something this wicked on your own. And for me, the only thing that honestly ever permanently killed my addiction was knowing Jesus Christ. If you want out, he's your ticket. Take it.
Instead of being another person who sees this as a social issue and move on, take time out of your day to actually see what's happening. Dads, protect your sons and daughters. Let them know that Mom and Dad cared enough about them to do their best to protect them. Know them. Know their struggles. Care about their well being now, so you won't have to pick up the pieces later. Leave a legacy that your grandkids can be proud of.
Relationship
The second, and really more potent option, is to have a relationship. To the parents, do you know what your kids are exposed to? Have you even talked about it? Because I assure you, if you turn a blind eye, it's gonna happen. NOW is the best time to talk to them about it. Who knows? Maybe it'll bring you closer? I know that for me, telling my folks what I had been through actually resulted in forgiveness and my dad is my best friend because of it. Get to know them. Be an actual family.
Two things: if your child doesn't think it's wrong, let them know that they're fueling a demand for human trafficking and educate them and teach them why it's horrible. If they do know it's wrong, are addicted, and want to get out; don't shame them. Forgive them, and try to help them out. That's what you're there for.
Learn and Kill
I urge you, don't be passive. This is not another thing to be taken lightly. If you're into porn, or think it's morally acceptable, I ask you to take a look at the resources below and learn what porn really is. It's the dehumanization of women, the stimulant of rape culture, and just as addictive and gives just as good a neurostimulant as cocaine. If you're addicted, get help! I can't stress the importance of this. For me, putting this crap in the open was the only way to get it done. If you live in the Puget Sound area, join a redemption group. You can't kill something this wicked on your own. And for me, the only thing that honestly ever permanently killed my addiction was knowing Jesus Christ. If you want out, he's your ticket. Take it.
Instead of being another person who sees this as a social issue and move on, take time out of your day to actually see what's happening. Dads, protect your sons and daughters. Let them know that Mom and Dad cared enough about them to do their best to protect them. Know them. Know their struggles. Care about their well being now, so you won't have to pick up the pieces later. Leave a legacy that your grandkids can be proud of.
I have a lot more to say about this topic, so comment and if you would like me to talk about this more next week, I'd really love to. This is pretty huge to me. Please check out the resources below. I'm urging you.
Additional Resources
Internet Pornography Statistics http://bit.ly/Yxe8
7 Negative Effects of Porn http://bit.ly/va1LVc
A Bigger Problem Than "Boys Will Be Boys" http://bit.ly/gsxydi
The Porn Path http://bit.ly/HqyKTx
A Bigger Problem Than "Boys Will Be Boys" http://bit.ly/gsxydi
The Porn Path http://bit.ly/HqyKTx
Not Your Father's Pornography http://bit.ly/e0CN4z
Unearthed Pictures http://www.unearthedpictures.org/
Porn Harms http://pornharms.com/
Interesting posts. You did very good research in integrating all the links. I watched the video you mentioned. Most astonishing is the disproportionate number of dislikes vs. likes. The video had just 650 likes but more than 25,000 dislikes.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately with controversial topics like this, it's hard to please everyone. The 25,000 dislikes is a great representation of not being able to please everyone. Just like religion and politics, porn is a very controversial issue. With the integration of internet on tablets and mobile phones, I think the problem is only going to be greater because of the unlimited access. What do you think?
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